Not the Baby Brother Sahadeva

Check the theme here: Pandava Mahaprasthana

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The rhythmic beat of the pestle against the bowl made it easier for Sahadeva to let his thoughts travel to the past. The smell of dried grass and cows always soothed him. Krishna once joked that he was more of a Yadava, with his love for cattle and their well-being. The compliment filled his heart with delight.

As the youngest of the Pandavas, though he and Nakula were the same age, Sahadeva was treated like a kid for many years. Even when he was old enough to marry the Panchala princess, along with his brothers, his mother made it a point to tell Draupadi to take extra care of her darling boy. When they went into the thirteen-year exile, it was the same again.

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“I’m not a child! I will kill that evil Shakuni for what he did to us. You wait and see, Maa!” Sahadeva yelled after they lost the game of dice. They got ready to walk out of Hastinapura and sought blessings from their mother.

She told them to come back after thirteen years to reclaim their rights. After hugging them, she held Draupadi’s hands.

“O my daughter! Never did I expect you would face such pain by marrying my sons. I raised them to be better. Yudhi was supposed to be better than this!” She sniffled and continued. “We can’t change what’s done. I trust you to keep them together during the exile. It is more important now than ever, and you know it too.”

Draupadi nodded. Sahadeva noticed she suppressed her fury to avoid unleashing it on their mother. It wasn’t her fault, after all!

“Take care of my Sahadeva, daughter. He may have been born to Madri, but he has been my darling child forever. I loved him the moment I delivered him, and he stared at me with those enormous eyes. He didn’t cry when he was born! My Sahadeva… he didn’t even like going to Madri…”

Sahadeva didn’t say a word, though he wanted to. What could he say? Unlike Nakula, his memories of their birth mother were hazy. For him, Maa was Kunti.

Draupadi replied, interrupting his thoughts. “I will, Maa. You take care of yourself. Why don’t you go to Dwarka or Panchala? They won’t treat you right here in Hastinapura.”

“Yes, Maa. Draupadi is right. Duryodhana and his father are drunk on power. Bhishma Pitamaha doesn’t have any control despite his position. We saw how they spoke to Uncle Vidura.” Sahadeva added. He liked Draupadi’s idea.

Kunti shook her head. “No, my children. I will stay here until you return and reclaim the throne. You know that your father, Pandu, was the king. I came to Hastinapura as his bride and queen. When he renounced the throne, Madri and I followed him. When Yudhistira and the rest of you were born, we knew we couldn’t keep you away from what’s rightfully yours.”

“But…”

Kunti stopped Sahadeva with a raised hand. “Listen to me well, my boy. My presence here is a reminder that you will return and stake your claim. Do what it takes to make your father proud and fulfill his wish of seeing his sons as the rulers of the Kuru kingdom. The treasury they enjoy and the allies they boast of are because of your father’s valor. Neither Dhritarashtra nor his sons added anything to it.”

“We will be back as you wish, Maa. I promise.” Draupadi’s voice held the same resolve as his mother’s.

Sahadeva wasn’t surprised. He knew he too would prove himself in the war and keep his vow to kill Shakuni, Gandhari’s brother and Duryodhana’s advisor uncle. Unlike his oldest brother, Sahadeva had no illusions about his Kuru cousins. Duryodhana wouldn’t let go of Indraprastha without a fight. Sahadeva would train throughout the exile and be ready when it was time to face Duryodhana on the battlefield.

“I will keep my vow, Maa. Stay safe until then.” Sahadeva murmured as he hugged Kunti one last time before he and Draupadi walked out of the chamber.

The red stains on her saree made him furious. Sahadeva would have heartily helped Bhima tear apart Duryodhana, Dushasana, and Karna, along with Shakuni and the blind Dhritarashtra. The old king was as evil as his sons, except that he tried to act like he cared. How dare they touch his wife and insult her in the sabha! They weren’t worth the dust on her feet.

As they walked out of the palace and through the streets, Draupadi insisted she walking behind him. She wanted everyone to see her stained saree and her tangled tresses. It was a message and a warning. Every action had its consequences.

Almost fourteen years later, Sahadeva stood in his chariot, feeling a slight sense of satisfaction as the Kaurava army was on the verge of defeat. He waited long to kill Shakuni, to see the sense of despair and resignation in the old man’s face. On the eighteenth day of the war, he fought a face-to-face duel with his enemy and destroyed him.

Seeing Shakuni’s headless slump down to the ground from the chariot made him roar with pent-up anger.

His next arrow killed Shakuni’s son, Uluka.

“I had to kill you, cousin, though I know you are not like your father. Still, you fought on his side, and I can’t let you leave the battlefield alive.” Sahadeva whispered. He stepped off his chariot to touch Uluka’s body and extend a wordless apology.

Later in the day, Bhima defeated Duryodhana and fulfilled his vow by smashing the left thigh even if it was against the rules.

“A deviation from rules is acceptable when facing an adhramic man. Duryodhana didn’t care about rules or agreements; why should we? He got what he deserved.” Sahadeva said. Krishna gave him a nod of approval.

If only the war ended at that moment. Ashwatthama, the lazy coward, attacked the Pandava camp at night and killed the remaining warriors in their sleep. Sahadeva’s young boy of sixteen and his brothers had to die at the hands of that worthless son of Dronacharya.

Still, they had started from scratch and rebuilt Hastinapura, locking their pain deep inside and focusing on the kingdom and its citizens. While Yudhistira tended to Dhritarashtra and Gandhari, Sahadeva spent more time with Kunti. Draupadi, Subhadra, and Uttarā also included Kunti in various activities. Sahadeva knew his mother was mourning. While her sons claimed the throne, she had lost her firstborn, the baby she had as an unwed teen. Karna’s death had broken her heart as much as her guilt for not revealing the truth until it was too late.

“Maa, you did what you could in those circumstances. Don’t you say destiny decides everything? It’s not your fault.” Sahadeva told her one day, unable to see her pain.

Kunti shook her head. “No, my son. If I told Pandu Raja about Karna, he would have been with us, and Duryodhana wouldn’t have used him for his greed.”

Sahadeva didn’t agree, though he didn’t say it aloud. Karna had his flaws, no matter how much his mother and older brother wanted to pretend otherwise. He had a loving family. Duryodhana gifted him a kingdom, though Karna did nothing to prove his worth as a ruler. Didn’t he spend all his time in Kuru sabha instead of Anga, helping Duryodhana’s evil plans?

“Maa, we always think we could have done better when we look back at the events. Please listen to your favorite son. I want you to be happy that Pitashri’s dream came true at last.”

Kunti nodded, wiping her tears and running her fingers through his hair. Sahadeva sat on the floor at her feet, his head resting in her lap. “You sound all grown-up! I will do as you say.”

“Maa! I am a grown-up!” Sahadeva pretended offense, causing his mother to smile.

Of course, fifteen years after the war, when he thought everything was good, Dhritarashtra announced his decision to go on vanaprastha ashrama, to give up materialistic pleasures and spend the remaining years of life in a forest hermitage as an ascetic. Vidura and Sanjaya also left with them to care for the blind king and his wife, who had a blindfold around her eyes.

Yudhistira was distraught, but Sahadeva was heartbroken when their mother announced her intentions at the last moment.

“Maa! You cannot go! You wanted to see us rule. What changed now?” Yudhistira demanded.

Kunti was firm. “I’m confident Hastinapura will continue to flourish. I kept my promise to your Pitashri. Now, it is time to do penance for my mistakes.”

Sahadeva volunteered to move to the forest as her assistant. “I will come with you, Maa.”

“No way! Your brother gave you responsibilities here. Fulfill them to the best of your abilities.” Kunti replied and turned to Yudhistira to add. “Take care of your youngest brother, Yudhi.”

“I am old enough to take care of myself.” Sahadeva shot back.

“Then, my darling son, do that and keep Draupadi happy. I asked her to give you extra love during the exile. Now, I ask you to return the same.”

“I will.”

“Good. Then stay back with your brothers and wife.”

Sahadeva knew he had lost the argument. His mother had turned it around to get what she wanted.

“Maa, you win! I’ll stay back. But we’ll come to meet you soon.”

“Yes, come after two months.”

They obeyed her orders and spent a week in the forest with the elders. Kunti asked them to return to Hastinapura and not meet her again.

“This is our last goodbye. May the devas always be with you!” She said.

Three years later, they received the news of their deaths. More heartbreak, but they survived and continued, as always, until Krishna too died.

Sahadeva knew they made the right decision by renouncing the kingdom. Life was simpler in vanaprastha.

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Sahadeva returned to the present when the pestle in his hand slipped and disturbed the rhythm. He saw that the paste was ready. He had ground it too much already. Any more, and it would have been useless for treating the wound.

With a determined shake of his head, Sahadeva collected the brown paste into a wide leaf and stood. He had work to do. Though they still camped a few yojanas away from Anga, the brothers often came to the city when the citizens requested help or expertise. They would arrive with a bullock cart and some fruits or vegetables as a token of respect. Sahadeva and his brothers were more than happy to share their knowledge with the youngsters, who seemed eager to learn as much as possible. When Draupadi was ready for the next move, they planned to stay in Anga for a few years.

Before they completed their Mahaprasthana, he would do his best to share his knowledge with as many as possible and leave the world with a satisfied and full heart.

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