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how-does-it-feel-poem

How Does It Feel?

Disclaimer: The poem has many triggers (depression, anxiety, struggle, etc.). Writing this has been cathartic in a way. It is one of the easiest poems yet heaviest I’ve written. The words flowed of their own accord.

***

How does it feel as darkness descends

Wrapping you in its arms, promising everything

But giving nothing, except

The relentless rush of pain and panic

The unyielding weight on your chest

The slow slip and slide into an abyss

With each passing breath, each minute

Blocking your way out

Dimming the ray of hope to a speck of wayward dust

*

How does it feel to see a new dawn

With the darkness imprisoning you

The absence of light sucking all the warmth

The urge to cry and bawl, filling your lungs

Doubts about who and what you are

Expanding to take over your senses

The hurts of the past, those you thought had long healed

Tearing open afresh to bleed anew

Each drop, triggered by a random word or sound

Pushing you into spiraling madness

*

How do you continue when despair hits hard

With each breath, hurting all over

And every cry, sending a tearful prayer

When the world tries to help but cannot

When you want to accept the hand but cannot

When the well of inner strength runs dry

The only thing left is a sense of distance

That your life is no longer yours

That you are a puppet dancing to someone’s whims

*

How do you burn like Phoenix to rise again

From the ashes of yourself, still scalding your skin

From the remains of yourself, still breaking apart

From the shards of yourself, still cutting you open

This pain is proof of life; they say

This hurt is the path to healing; they assure

This clawing desperation is the fuel to fight; they proclaim

Yet when the hours tick by

When the clocks’ hands go round and round

When a day that ends leaves you barely alive

Hanging by the faintest thread

That could snap in the blink of an eye

Is all you have to show as proof of your existence

***

Want to read another poem? Check out You and I, an English Ghazal I wrote a couple of months ago.

Picture credit: Generated on Bing.

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