Disclaimer: The poem has many triggers (depression, anxiety, struggle, etc.). Writing this has been cathartic in a way. It is one of the easiest poems yet heaviest I’ve written. The words flowed of their own accord.
***
How does it feel as darkness descends
Wrapping you in its arms, promising everything
But giving nothing, except
The relentless rush of pain and panic
The unyielding weight on your chest
The slow slip and slide into an abyss
With each passing breath, each minute
Blocking your way out
Dimming the ray of hope to a speck of wayward dust
*
How does it feel to see a new dawn
With the darkness imprisoning you
The absence of light sucking all the warmth
The urge to cry and bawl, filling your lungs
Doubts about who and what you are
Expanding to take over your senses
The hurts of the past, those you thought had long healed
Tearing open afresh to bleed anew
Each drop, triggered by a random word or sound
Pushing you into spiraling madness
*
How do you continue when despair hits hard
With each breath, hurting all over
And every cry, sending a tearful prayer
When the world tries to help but cannot
When you want to accept the hand but cannot
When the well of inner strength runs dry
The only thing left is a sense of distance
That your life is no longer yours
That you are a puppet dancing to someone’s whims
*
How do you burn like Phoenix to rise again
From the ashes of yourself, still scalding your skin
From the remains of yourself, still breaking apart
From the shards of yourself, still cutting you open
This pain is proof of life; they say
This hurt is the path to healing; they assure
This clawing desperation is the fuel to fight; they proclaim
Yet when the hours tick by
When the clocks’ hands go round and round
When a day that ends leaves you barely alive
Hanging by the faintest thread
That could snap in the blink of an eye
Is all you have to show as proof of your existence
***
Want to read another poem? Check out You and I, an English Ghazal I wrote a couple of months ago.
Picture credit: Generated on Bing.