Calls of Duty for Yudhistira

Check the theme here: Pandava Mahaprasthana

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The bank of the River Ganga in the beautiful Kasi kingdom was a perfect spot for the next stop of the Mahaprasthana. Yudhistira checked the map he drew and nodded with satisfaction. He considered it his duty to ensure they would reach the designated spot in an hour and have ample time to set up a camp. He grinned at the dog that barked beside him and rubbed between its ears.

Turning behind, he saw his brothers and wife walking in a straight line, each lost in thought. Right behind him was Bhima, his thick arms at his sides, his eyes focused elsewhere. Then, there was Arjuna, with his white curls looped into a loose topknot and the glittering Gandiva bow in his right hand. Nakula looked spotless, without sweat or dirt to mar his handsome features.

No one would guess he was seventy-eight years old. Behind him was Sahadeva, grinning at something Draupadi must have said and pointing at the trees alongside the walking trail. At the end was Draupadi, dressed in a simple cotton saree in pale blue, a contrast to her dusky skin that glowed in the afternoon summer sun. Her broad shoulders were straight, her walk regal as ever.

With a soft sigh, Yudhistira turned to the front. He led the way, and his family followed without a word. He wondered if they knew how much he treasured their acceptance since he never told them. For decades, it was something they did, a pattern they continued despite the odds.

Of course, they were not without disagreements or arguments. His brothers hadn’t understood what compelled him to stake everything, including them and Draupadi, during the dice game. They hadn’t understood why he was ready to settle for just five villages if it meant there wouldn’t be war. They didn’t see why he wanted to give up his claim to the throne and rule a destroyed kingdom with an empty treasury.

“Why don’t you tell me, Maharaja? Why are you drowning in guilt when you should focus on setting things right for the distraught citizens?” Draupadi demanded after the war.

Krishna, Vyasa Muni, and even their grandfather Bhishma had demanded that he step up and be responsible for the citizens. Yudhistira used all his knowledge of dharma and shastras to emphasize his point. It didn’t matter. Deep within, he knew they were right. His decision to reject the throne was selfish. He wanted to keep himself pure, to reach swarga in mortal form. The war had already tainted his aatma. He didn’t want more of it. Kala had other plans. Hence, for the next thirty-six years, he ruled Hastinapura. Of those, he spent fifteen years caring for his old uncle and aunt, Dhritarashtra and Gandhari.

“I can hear Ma Ganga’s waves. The river is turbulent today.” Sahadeva said.

“Let’s camp closer to the forest’s edge. It’ll give us shade from summer’s heat.” Arjuna replied.

Bhima murmured in agreement as Yudhistira nodded. Without another word, they increased the pace to reach the riverbank.

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After completing his evening prayers, Yudhistira spent the next hour helping his brothers build a makeshift hut at the selected spot. They took care not to chop branches or uproot trees when camping unless it was necessary.

Exhausted but unwilling to display it, Yudhistira sank onto a small rock that jutted from the ground. It was still warm and eased the pain in his thighs.

“What are you thinking about, Maharaja?”

He found Draupadi standing a couple of feet away. Like him, she looked at the waves in the river.

Yudhistira debated for a second before he replied. “Do you remember you asked why I wanted to become an ascetic after the war?”

She nodded. He thought he saw a smirk, but with Draupadi, it was hard to tell unless she wanted them to know what she thought. Even after all these decades together, she was an enigma he couldn’t fully comprehend.

With a sigh, he continued. “I was guilty and felt responsible for the deaths of my relatives and my elder brother. I wanted to do penance for it and to be a worthy son of Dharma.”

Yudhistira left the rest unsaid, knowing she would fill the gaps. She did.

“If I may be honest, you were always too full of yourself about being a Dharmaraja. But you hadn’t realized that dharma is not straightforward or fixed. Only your interpretation of dharma was correct since you read most Shastras. Isn’t that what you think, Maharaja?”

Yudhistira said nothing. What could he do when she cut across the truth of the matter in her usual no-nonsense manner?

“Dharma has a code, Draupadi.” He replied instead.

She snorted. “It does indeed. Yet, the code is not as simplified as you want it to be. Maharaja, I applaud you for accepting the truth about yourself, at least now. Ignoring your duty to your citizens would have made you more adharmic. Why do you think Krishna was so insistent? The distraught public needed a compassionate king to assure them of a better future.”

Maybe he should have kept silent, Yudhistira thought, as Draupadi gave him a nod and walked toward Nakula and Arjuna. She never hesitated to question his stance, even as she kept them all together and bound to each other.

Staring at the twilight sky, Yudhistira mused about his duties and how he handled them. As an older brother, it was his job to ensure his siblings followed dharma. After becoming the crown prince of Hastinapura, he wanted the citizens to be happy, and the elders to be satisfied with his role. As the king of Indraprastha, he welcomed people from far and wide to make the new kingdom their home.

As the emperor of Bharatavarsha, he hoped to establish peace between all lands and their rulers. Again, as the king of Hastinapura, he spent his last three and a half decades making the kingdom prosperous without harming others. Now, on the last journey, he was to keep his family together until they took their last breath. Not that this worried him. Answering the calls of duty was one thing he was good at!

When had he said no to taking responsibility except for a brief period postwar? Even then, they eventually convinced him. None of his brothers ever ruled a kingdom. They didn’t know what it took to keep everyone happy. Did they think it was easy to follow dharma and deliver justice?

Yudhistira felt his anger rise and controlled his thoughts. It wouldn’t help them if he lost it after so many years.

“Come and eat, Elder brother.” Sahadeva touched his shoulder.

Yudhistira looked up and smiled. He hoped his features didn’t show the signs of lingering anger or resentment.

They sat in a circle with clean leaves on the front as plates. The dog followed Draupadi as she carried the pot of broken barley soup to serve them. She took her seat after serving them, and they ate in silence.

The sound of the waves and the myriad cries of the insects filled the space. Unlike other days, Yudhistira didn’t find the silence peaceful. It felt heavy, as if words unspoken needed to be said. He refused to do so and concentrated on eating the meager meal.

“What keeps you in distant thoughts?” Bhima asked as Draupadi served him another portion of food she kept aside just for him.

Yudhistira shook his head.

“Maharaja must be thinking about his responsibilities,” Draupadi said. Her voice sounded curious.

Bhima wanted to know if it was true.

Realizing he couldn’t get away, Yudhistira replied, careful about what he spoke. “I feel relieved that I answered the calls of duty and lived a dharmic life. Though renouncing the kingdom took a while, this is what I wanted for a long time.”

“We know about your love for an ascetic life, Elder brother. However, each of us handled our share of responsibilities. I may not have been the Maharaja, but you crowned me the heir, giving me half the workload. Arjuna managed law and justice, as well as training young warriors. Nakula spent all his waking hours rebuilding the lost army and ensuring their families were cared for. Sahadeva turned an empty treasury into an overflowing one with his talent for numbers.” Bhima replied, ticking off the responsibilities on his fingers.

“And our Maharani? What did she not do? From caring for those elders and widows to bringing up Parikshit and little Janamejaya while running the palace with finesse, she shouldered her burdens without a complaint.”

Arjuna nodded. “Draupadi took care of everything in Indraprastha so that we could take time out for our personal interests and activities. She did the same again in Hastinapura.” Turning to her with a loving smile, he added. “Did you get time for yourself, Draupadi?”

Yudhistira saw her pat Bhima and Arjuna on their shoulders as she removed the empty pot.

“We all did what we had to do, didn’t we? We have handed over the responsibilities to the next generation. Let’s not burden ourselves with it again.” She said, looking at him.

Yudhistira nodded.

They agreed and stood to clean the place and set up the bedding for the night.

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