A Gambling Game Called Life

Check the theme here: Pandava Mahaprasthana

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It had been three full moons since they settled in Gaya, close to an ashram with a dozen rishis. Draupadi could hear the chants of morning prayers as she drew a design of a lotus using rice flour in front of the hut. For her, it was yet another move in the game called life.

Her husbands went in different directions, as they often did. Yudhistira was at the neighboring ashram to discuss stories from the Puranas, and the dog went with him that day. Bhima and Arjuna were in the forest to bring fruits and roots for all of them. Since they arrived at the sacred site, the brothers had taken over the responsibility of finding food for the rishis as well. Nakula and Sahadeva went to the nearby village. They would do whatever work caught their fancy.

Admiring her handiwork, Draupadi stood and dusted her hands on her saree. Not having much to do, she preferred to explore the area as it suited her mood. Or she would mediate under the sturdy banyan tree until one of them returned. She hoped they could stay in that place for a couple of years at least. The last time she visited the pilgrim site, Draupadi’s heart overflowed with emotions. Now she could savor the peaceful atmosphere without distraction. Even the roar of animals didn’t sound menacing here.

Of course, that didn’t stop her mind from worrying about her grandchildren and great-grandson. She hoped Parikshit wouldn’t do anything to put the kingdom and its citizens at risk. As a king, he had many responsibilities. He was answerable to the citizens for decisions that affected their lives. Being a king wasn’t a child’s game, nor was the kingdom a tool to be bartered.

With a sigh, Draupadi eased onto the ground at her favorite spot under the tree. Instead of meditating, she leaned against the rough trunk and felt its strength seep into her old bones. Her mind flashed to the past. She mused how all the major events of her life were a gamble. In fact, Draupadi’s whole life was a game—a gamble played with varied intentions. She did what she could to wrestle control. After all, wasn’t it better to face the consequences of her decisions than to suffer for someone else’s actions? Yet, she had suffered humiliation, parting, loss, and grief.

Wasn’t this why she was born, Draupadi thought, remembering the words from the sky the moment she rose from the fierce yagna fire?

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Orange and gold flames dance around her shimmering form. The yagna sticks crackled near her feet. She could hear the chants of the rithviks as someone poured more ghee into the fire. Her form strengthened, bringing more clarity to her vision and sharpening her hearing. She heard a soft gasp of wonder as she flexed her arms and moved her toes. Rising from the flames was a strange way to be born; that too, not as a baby, but as a teenager on the brink of womanhood. Her long black tresses floated on the fire.

She stepped out of the yagna pit and stood on the solid ground. The floor was smooth and spotless.

“Accept your daughter, Raja Drupada. Yagnaseni, the one born from the yagna fire, will help establish dharma on earth. Your daughter will lead the destruction of the Kshatriyas.”

The celestial voice chilled her. Though she knew her birth was different, she hadn’t expected to play the role of a destroyer.

“My darling child!” A woman rushed forward to hug her. “Look at you glittering like a blue lotus. You even smell as heady as the lotus flower. Maharaja, I would like to call her Draupadi.”

The king nodded with a wide smile as he, too, stepped closer and placed his hand on her head. “The devas have given us a treasure. We will cherish you, daughter Draupadi.”

She smiled at them, tentatively at first, but with growing confidence, as their love for her seemed real and strong.

A sudden sound made them turn to the yagna fire. A handsome young man rose, dressed in silver armor and holding a sword in his right hand. She noticed he was fair, while her skin was a mesmerizing shade of blue.

The voice spoke again, introducing her brother to her new parents. “Dhrishtadyumna is the son you wanted, Raja. He will fulfill your wish and kill Dronacharya. Accept your son and make him your heir.”

Draupadi stepped to the side as the king and queen embraced her brother. He would be her twin, she thought, noticing the similarities in their features that reflected in the mirror on the side wall—a wide forehead, arched eyebrows over enormous eyes, a straight nose, full lips, and a pointed chin. Her brother was tall and well-built, already a warrior ready for a fight.

After greeting the parents, he turned to her and smiled. “Sister, I hope we can always be there for each other.”

Draupadi nodded, feeling more certain about her new family. She was delighted to find that the king had other children. Shikandin and Satyajit were older than her. In the next few years, Drupada had two more sons – Uttamaujas and Yudhamanyu.

Life was exciting, and she soon became a favorite in the kingdom. However, Draupadi couldn’t ignore the niggling worry at the back of her mind. Her parents loved her, but her father loved revenge a little more. Dhrishtadyumna went to Kuru to train under the same man he would one day kill. She trained with acharyas from Panchala, learning sword fighting and archery, alongside ancient scriptures, Shastras, Vedas, and Vedangas.

One day, Draupadi had an intriguing conversation with Shikandin, her elder brother, who was born a female.

“Elder brother, can I ask you something?”

Shikandin gave her a wide smile and patted the ground beside him. He had a lean build and delicate features that gave him the aura of a woman. “Let me guess. Is it about who I am?”

Draupadi blushed.

He laughed and ruffled her hair. “Krishnaa, it’s not much of a secret in the family. I was born a female but grew up as a male. Mahadeva gave a boon to Pitashri that I would become a male, so he and Maa thought they would make things easier. Turns out, I always picked male clothes, so they told everyone I was a boy.”

“But when you grew up?”

He inclined his head. “Yes, when Maa told me I have a girl’s body that would grow breasts and bleed, it was terrifying. I didn’t want any of it, but we didn’t know what to do. Then, I began having vivid dreams about a princess and her pain. Bit by bit, I put together the pieces to complete the story. The princess was me in my past birth. I was Amba, the daughter of Kasi’s Raja. Because of Bhishma’s arrogance, my life was in tatters. The information depressed me so much that I went into the forest, desperate for something without knowing what I wanted.”

Draupadi gripped her brother’s hand and laid her head on his shoulder.

“There, I met a compassionate yaksha, Sthunakarna. He offered a sex change for me to become a man. My body aligned with my mind and soul because of his selfless gift. Right there, I knew what to do. I was born to avenge my previous birth. I vowed to fight that old Kuru guardian and kill him.” Shikandin said. He turned to her with solemn eyes. “You, me, and Dhrishtadyumna were born for similar reasons.”

Draupadi realized that all their lives were a gamble and intricately interlinked. Everything seemed to be arranged for her to fulfill her destiny while her brothers achieved theirs.

As the princess of Panchala, she had many names. Some called her Panchali, and her dark skin tone made her Krishnaa. Draupadi liked it when they called her Krishnaa, though it was a rare treat.

A few years passed, and the king declared his intentions to get her married.

“You can choose your groom, daughter. However, there will be a test of skill. We want none but the best for you.” Drupada said as they had the night’s meal together.

“What kind of test, Pitashri?”

“You tell me, child. Make it so hard that only the worthy man would win.”

Draupadi thought about it for a few minutes. “Maybe a test of archery?”

The raja nodded in approval. She thought she noticed a spark in her eyes, but it was gone in a blink.

Before she knew it, they organized the swayamwara. Though her father was worried about the death of certain Pandava princes, he seemed to be confident of achieving what he wanted. She knew about them, of course. Drupada had wanted her to marry Arjuna, the third Pandava prince. He was a warrior responsible for her father’s defeat. In a way, without Arjuna, Draupadi wouldn’t have had to be born with her brother. She mourned his death, though she hadn’t met him ever.

“How could such capable warriors die in a fire accident?” Draupadi asked the acharyas.

They shook their heads with a heavy sigh. “Who knows how Kala works, Yuvarani? Dhritarashtra and his greedy son must be behind it. Most of Hastinapura feels so, and some even say it aloud.”

Draupadi wanted to know more. They obliged and told her about Pandu, who ruled Hastinapura and expanded it. How he got cursed during a pleasure hunting expedition and left the kingdom to his blind older brother, Dhritarashtra. The blind king’s eldest son grew up thinking he owned the world until the five Pandava brothers arrived with their widowed mother, Kunti.

“There are whispers that this wasn’t the first time Duryodhana tried to eliminate them. The eldest Pandava was the oldest among all and was the heir to the throne, Yuvarani. He was a soft-spoken lad. The brothers were so different from each other, and yet a unit. Together, they could achieve anything.”

Draupadi listened with full interest, not yet knowing it would be her responsibility to keep them united for the rest of their lives.

When she saw a dark-skinned young Brahmin with sparkling eyes stand to try his luck in her swayamwara, Draupadi’s breath caught. He waited a few seconds, not because of the protests from the kings, but to see if she would object. She didn’t. Instead, Draupadi was eager for him to win. She didn’t care who he was. Something about him called to her soul, and she answered. Seeing him defend himself when the kings attacked further strengthened her resolve. She would marry none but this man. It seemed even her namesake, who shared her skin tone, approved of her choice.

Draupadi was heady with excitement, though she kept her expression neutral as they walked through the city streets and into the forest on the outskirts. She could live in a hut. However, being asked to marry five brothers instead of the man who won her heart wasn’t something she expected, even in her dreams. Krishna’s arrival answered a few questions.

“The Pandavas! They are alive!” She murmured more to herself. However, could she marry all of them and lead a happy life? What if she became the cause that broke them apart?

Draupadi almost said no, but meeting Arjuna’s eyes across the yard, she changed her mind. She would agree to polyandry. It was a challenge she would accept and prove her worth. She didn’t miss that it would put her where her destiny dictated—in the Kuru kingdom.

Years later, a game of dice resulted in their exile and made her fulfill her destiny. Only the Pandavas survived, not even their children. Their grandson, Parikshit, was a stillborn baby revived by Krishna. Draupadi vowed to prevent more destruction, praying to the devas to heed her plea.

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“Maharani, guess what we brought for you?” Bhima’s voice boomed as she felt rough fingers cover her eyes from behind. Draupadi guessed it was Arjuna, based on the scars he got from archery.

Draupadi grinned, stretching her arms at her front while taking a deep breath to guess the item. She almost didn’t recognize the scent since it was the same as hers.

“Oh! Blue lotus flowers!” She gasped in delight as Arjuna removed his hands and Bhima presented a bunch of lush lotuses to her. Draupadi pressed her face into the flowers, allowing the scent to calm her.

So what if her life had been a gamble? It had given her many wonderful moments, and she would hold them close to her heart forever.

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