Check the theme here: Pandava Mahaprasthana
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The cold no longer bothered them. It felt comfortable despite the lack of thick clothes or wraps. After an uneventful stay at Mansarovar, Draupadi was more than ready to say goodbye to her husbands. As expected, Yudhistira planned their journey to climb Mount Kailasa.
Draupadi was at the end once again, walking behind Sahadeva. He held one end of a stick while she held the other. The dog walked beside her at that moment. Draupadi breathed in the crisp air of the mountains and tried to clear her head. She had been fasting for the past three days, and it had made her foggy and slow.
They walked for a while in silence until she felt the world swim around her. Draupadi didn’t resist as darkness enveloped her mind. Her grip on the stick loosened as she swayed and fell into the snow.
“Draupadi!” Sahadeva cried, kneeling beside her and removing the snow from her face and hair.
“What happened?”
“Maharani!”
“Draupadi… wake up!”
The voices called, concerned. Draupadi was drifting in and out of consciousness. She tried to smile and assure them she was fine; that it was time for her to leave the world and for them to let go. Yet, the words didn’t come.
“She’s trying to speak.”
“Say something. Here, drink some water.”
Strong hands held her as they dribbled water into her mouth. Draupadi gulped a few mouthfuls and whispered. “I…”
“Shh! Not yet. We’ll carry you to a shelter.”
“There’s no shelter in sight!”
Draupadi thought it was Nakula’s voice, filled with concern and anguish.
“I’ll carry her to the top.” This was Bhima’s voice, gruff and determined. “I won’t let her die.”
Draupadi shook her head, or she thought she did. She wanted them to stop discussing and just be with her in her last moments.
The murmurs floated around her until one of them said.
“Draupadi promised to love us all equally, but she loved Arjuna more. That’s why she can’t reach the top of Kailasa in her mortal form.”
It was Yudhistira, Draupadi thought. He was back to lecturing about his version of dharma. Her lips curved into a faint smile as her other husbands protested, their arms still holding her safe.
Of course, Draupadi loved Arjuna more. It wasn’t a secret. She loved them all differently, and if given a second chance, she would do the same. They needed her in their own ways, and she’d given them that while embracing the love they showered on her.
***
“Am I allowed here?”
Draupadi looked up from the scroll in her hands and blinked in surprise. She was on her bed, going through a few reports Yudhistira had asked her to check earlier that day.
Subhadra stood on the threshold, dressed in a simple saree and a waist chain that highlighted her curves.
“Of course! Come in, Subhadra.”
She skipped inside with a relieved grin and sat on the chair facing the bed. “I wasn’t sure, you see. They said this is your private quarters, and you didn’t allow Arjuna, so…”
Draupadi leaned against the cushions and raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you were Arjuna.”
Subhadra giggled and waved her hand. “O deva! I’m not.” She sobered up and leaned forward. “Tell me the truth. How are you? Are you angry? I know you’re hurt, but you will forgive me, won’t you? Krishna said you’d understand. Not that I thought a lot about it, to be frank, but I did a little.”
Draupadi suppressed her grin at Subhadra’s explanation. True; it hurt. However, she never blamed this young woman for it. She blamed Arjuna and Krishna, though a part of her admitted Krishna did what he had to prevent further chaos.
“You are silent,” Subhadra whispered.
“I suppose I’m fine.” Draupadi shrugged. “Krishna said that, did he? Well, we’ll see about it. What did your husband have to say?”
Subhadra bit her lip and twisted the pallu in her hands. She looked at Draupadi from under her lashes and murmured. “He is sad. I think he didn’t fully think about what his actions would lead to, and now…”
“Not much we can do if he refuses to come out of his confused state,” Draupadi replied. She thought Arjuna would settle down after the initial hesitation. It was tough for all of them. They were coping, still trying to understand each other and make things less awkward. If he ran away instead of doing his bit, he was only delaying the inevitable.
Subhadra nodded. “I tried to explain it to him. I think he understood… a little. It’s not like I don’t know how all this works.”
Draupadi was curious to know what theory Krishna’s sister came up with. “Care to share it with me?”
“It’s simple. You are Krishnaa, and he can be Rukmini instead of Bhama.”
Draupadi stared at Subhadra, marveling at how easily she presented the situation. She let out a soft laugh of approval and inclined her head.
“I knew you’d agree.” Subhadra beamed, looking like a fairer and younger version of Krishna. “Oh, I will call you sister, unless you want me to call you rani. I don’t mind, just so you know.”
“Sister is good.”
“That’s a relief.” She replied and added after a pause. “I wanted to thank you for… choosing to spend your next year with Nakula.”
Draupadi leaned forward to give Subhadra’s arm an assuring squeeze.
“But why? I mean, it makes sense but…”
Draupadi understood the question. She explained. “When I agreed to marry all five brothers, I did it only for Arjuna. However, seeing them together and learning more about them from Grandfather Vyasa made me curious. They have so much to give, Subhadra; it is heartbreaking that none of their uncles or cousins wanted to experience it! Why should I say no to their affection? Of course, I didn’t realize I’d love them so soon!” Draupadi gave a bittersweet smile as she continued. “I’m integral to their lives now. They have accepted it… Arjuna hasn’t fully, which is why he is struggling. I don’t want a strained relationship with them. When it’s a brother’s turn to be my husband, he should welcome it with open arms, not with tangled emotions. I deserve better, don’t you think?”
“Yes… You are right, sister.” Subhadra nodded. “Trust me on this. I’ll make sure Arjuna does the same when it’s his turn.”
Draupadi shook her head. “No. It’s not your responsibility. Don’t change your priorities, or your relationship will suffer. He has two years to sort it out. If he doesn’t, then maybe he is not the man I thought him to be!”
“He will!” Subhadra protested. “I’m not defending him… okay… I am, but only a little. After all, my reputation is also at stake. I can’t be said to marry someone like that!”
“Deva!” Draupadi laughed. She had felt lighter in many days, despite the situation.
“Oh, yes! In fact, I’m also here for the kids.” Subhadra said. “I love them so much! Since you’ll have more, can I be their other mother? You run the kingdom; I have no interest in it. I will run the nursery as I did in Dwarka.”
“As you wish!” Draupadi knew she didn’t have to worry any longer about the uncertainties between the brothers.
Everything would be fine, and they were.
Soon, she was pregnant with Nakula’s child, and Sahadeva had left to collect tributes from the kingdoms to the south of Indraprastha. Then, she began her year with Sahadeva, and Arjuna left to conquer the northern kingdoms.
“He’ll return only with material treasures this time,” Subhadra said, with a determined glint in her eyes after Arjuna left. “I warned him of dire consequences if he even dreamt of another marriage.”
Everyone chuckled at her words. Draupadi smiled, confident of the change she saw in him. Subhadra was good for all of them. She had become the wife Arjuna wanted to call his own, the sister the others could pamper, and the ever-present mother to the kids.
Arjuna was back in time to find Subhadra ready to deliver his child and Draupadi carrying Sahadeva’s child. Abhimanyu’s birth had changed him even more. She noticed he looked happier than before. His eyes were no longer haunted as he interacted with them.
When their year together had begun at last, Draupadi asked Arjuna to move into her quarters so that Subhadra would be comfortable in his.
Arjuna came late in the evening, carrying Abhimanyu in his arms. She was on the terrace, cradling Srutakarma after feeding him. Arjuna sat beside her on the swing and leaned in to drop a kiss on her cheek and the baby’s head. While Abhimanyu had a head full of hair ready to curl, Srutakarma was almost bald.
“He looks just like Sahadeva, but without hair.” He said, shifting around to trace a finger on the child’s plump cheeks.
They sat in silence as the babies drifted to sleep. Then, they went inside to place them in the large cradle that Bhima and Nakula built.
Arjuna then held her hands and nudged her to sit on the bed. Sitting on the floor at her feet, he kissed her fingers one by one.
“I’m sorry, Draupadi,” He whispered. “I am so used to loving my brothers that this… My sudden emotions caught me off guard. I didn’t know what to say or do. Who could I discuss it with without sounding jealous? Who would understand what I felt when even I didn’t? What could I tell Bhima or Nakula when they accepted the agreements with an open heart? Maa would be so disappointed if I told her, and so would Yudhistira.”
Draupadi wiped his tears as he shared his anguish with her. “It wasn’t about you, though I love you more than anything else. Suddenly, I looked around and felt as if I had no one, not even my brothers. The twins have a special bond with each other. Maa always values Yudhistira’s words, and Bhima is happy with his cooking and wrestling. Even as a child, Bhima didn’t ask for much. There was I, right in the middle of my brothers who loved me, but I was so lonely and lost because they didn’t always need me. Even you didn’t need me… You had all of them giving you their love.”
He cried into her lap, his tears soaking her saree. He had an arm wrapped around her calves, the other still gripping hers as if his life depended on it. Draupadi said nothing. Instead, she rubbed her free hand over his broad shoulders, trying to soothe him. She once heard her brothers Satyajit and Dhrishtadyumna discuss how being a middle child was hard. Love surrounded them, but they lived with a sense of vulnerability. She understood Arjuna needed someone to need him, not for what he could do, but for who he was. Subhadra and Abhimanyu had given him that.
“I won’t hurt you again, I promise!” He murmured. “I want all of us to be together. Parting with either of you is impossible. My heart will never be full without my family. Please, Draupadi…”
“Look at me, Arjuna,” she said.
He lifted his head and blinked at her. Draupadi freed her hand from his and took his face in both hands.
“You have all of us, Arjuna. You always did. Yes, you hurt me and your brothers, but you also hurt yourself. As you heal, your relationships will also become better.” She kissed him and added. “What we have should strengthen our bonds with the others. They know we are bound to each other in a way we cannot explain. They don’t resent it, Arjuna. Your brothers don’t want it either. But they want you and me. They want us to be happy individually and with each other.”
He nodded and stood as she tugged his hands. Draupadi hugged him as his arms wrapped around her so hard it was impossible to breathe. She didn’t mind, though. She had all her husbands back. That was all that mattered.
***
“Draupadi, don’t bother with elder brother’s words. He doesn’t mean them.” Nakula said, giving her a gentle shake.
Draupadi blinked and forced her eyes open. Her husbands deserved a goodbye, and she would give them that.
“I…” She gulped and cleared her throat.
“You… all… I love you all.” She whispered. “Different… but a lot of love… for all of you.”
“We know, Maharani!” Bhima cried. “We know! You don’t have to justify anything. Please, don’t leave us.”
Draupadi smiled and tilted her head. Bhima bent closer so that she could touch her lips to his cheek. “I… want this… Let me go… with you by my side.”
She turned to look at Sahadeva, who nodded. She had already discussed it with him.
“Rani told me this was her wish. We should respect her wish.” Sahadeva said, his voice choking with tears.
“Meet you soon in swarga, Rani.” He said and kissed her forehead. She touched her lips to his cheek and smiled.
Nakula leaned in, pushing a stray grey strand away from her face. “We’ll meet again, Draupadi.”
She gave him an assuring smile. Arjuna hesitated and turned to look at Yudhistira, who was trying hard not to cry. Draupadi could have laughed if she had the strength for it. That man shed tears for those who didn’t deserve it, but was acting like a child around her.
“Yudhi…” she croaked.
He rushed to hug her. “Draupadi, don’t leave us! There’s no one like you!”
“I… know.”
Yudhistira let out a strangled laugh and held her for a few minutes. She could feel him tremble with suppressed emotion.
At last, he moved to the side to let Arjuna say his goodbyes.
“You’re the best part of my life… I love you…” Arjuna whispered, cradling her face. “Wait for us, Draupadi. We’ll meet you in swarga before you miss us.”
“That’s a promise,” Sahadeva added.
Draupadi smiled at them. She was exactly where she wanted to be—held by her husbands. Peace filled her, and she surrendered herself to the void.
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I’m participating in #BlogchatterA2Z.
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The way you portrayed Draupadi’s final moments—her exhaustion, her acceptance, and the subtle yet profound dynamics between her and her husbands—was so moving. The line where Yudhishthira comments on her love for Arjuna, and Draupadi’s quiet acknowledgment of it, felt like a raw, honest moment that many wouldn’t dare to write.
I also appreciated the scene with Subhadra. It was a beautiful portrayal of vulnerability and understanding. Subhadra’s nervousness and Draupadi’s calm acceptance of her presence spoke volumes about their characters and the complexities of their relationships. It was refreshing to see Draupadi not as a symbol of rage or victimhood, but as a woman who has loved, lost, and learned.
Your writing brings these ancient characters to life in a way that’s both relatable and respectful of their mythological roots. It’s a reminder that behind every legend, there’s a human story filled with emotions, choices, and consequences.
Thank you so much, Romila! You have captured what I wanted to convey through the post. These may be the stories of legends and heroes, but they are humans before everything else.